13

*Amazing-ness*

There has been so much amazing news going around lately! I’ve seen so many of the long term TTC’ers get their BFPs recently on twoweekwait.com! It gives me hope. Yesterday was the most awesome day by far!

First, my wonderful friend, unaffected, got her 2nd beta back from her FET. It doubled and then some! She and her husband had been TTC for 4.5 years with “unexplained infertility”. Although, she was diagnosed by Dr. Sher with activated NK Cells and +APA. She did not use any intralipids or specialized treatments (other than a typical medicated FET cycle) but still got pregnant! She is now on Lovenox for the +APA.

Another sweet friend @ A Miracle in the Works, got her TOTALLY natural BFP!! Also after being diagnosed with activated NK Cells and being told she needed IVF.

The BEST news EVER is that my dear friend Naycee got the news that her baby girl would get a new heart!!!! I’ve posted about little Jasmine before. The poor little 6 month old girl was declining, and her family was suffering so much. Yesterday, the transplant took place and so far it was a great success! What a fantastic miracle, and it couldn’t have come sooner. My thoughts and prayers go out to the donor family, who gave the most precious gift and saved a life. *For all the latest updates on the little fighter, please visit their Facebook Page – Jasmine’s Hopeful Heart.

God is good!!!

I’m feeling a little better each day that passes since the surgery. I’m healing both physically and emotionally. The discoveries that were made during surgery have renewed my hope. This is the first time I’ve TRULY felt hopeful since our IVF cycle a year ago. I’m daydreaming of BFPs and baby names …. πŸ™‚ I hope this positive trend continues, not just for me, but for EVERYONE! xoxo

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8

“Maybe someday…”

“Maybe Someday” – a poem of early losses by Lisa Bailey

You left me suddenly.

No chance for goodbyes.

My heart breaks…

It’s not your fault or mine.

The bond felt strong…

Even though I didn’t really know you.

How can that be?

Rain falls with a sky so blue…

Where is my rainbow?

Nothing makes sense anymore.

I still see you there, off in the distance…

But where? Behind what door?

Or are you only in my dreams?

What do I need to do?

You’re always just beyond my reach…

And nothing is what it seems

Your body is a shadow, fragile and small…

Still, you are beautiful to me.

I’m crying, can you hear my call?

Were you ever even real?

Can you come closer?

It all seems surreal.

I can’t comprehend.

I’ve been waiting for so long…

And yearning…

To hold you in my arms

But it won’t be today.

Maybe someday…

9

Day 4 post-op & re-cap

I’m finally feeling a bit better today! πŸ™‚ I had the catheter removed from my uterus yesterday, which has made a BIG difference in my pain level. The catheter had come loose, and I had tubes hanging out of my VJJ! It was quite uncomfortable and awkward – especially at Thanksgiving dinner LOL. The balloon inflated in my uterus was moving around, so the doctor thinks that’s where my extra pain and cramping came from. No worries though – he said that happens quite often. I wanted to do a little re-cap of the past few days…

Surgery day: Click here to read more about my surgery and findings. We had a 3 hour drive home from the hospital and got stuck in rush hour traffic. I was nauseous and in pain the whole way home. Finally, we got home, and Andy went to fill my prescriptions: Vicodin (for pain), Doxycycline (antibiotic), and Estrace (Estrogen to re-build my lining that was removed during the D&C). I hadn’t eaten since the day before, but I had no appetite. I forced down a couple crackers to take my meds. One of the worst parts was not being able to pee!!! I had to go so badly, but it wouldn’t come out even though I kept trying. I went about 17 hours without peeing. I was bleeding at about a medium flow, kind of like AF. All night, I was extremely restless, and I had to take Vicodin every 4 hours.

Day 1 post-op: I didn’t move much from the couch. I felt like complete crap. I still had intense pain and cramping and had to take 1-2 Vicodins every 4-6 hours. Bleeding was at a light-medium flow. Still no appetite, but I managed to eat a bowl of soup and a few crackers. Thankfully, I began peeing normally. I took stool softeners prior to surgery, which was a great idea! I had no problems with #2. The C02 that they pumped into me during surgery was causing a lot of hiccups, burping, and pain in my shoulders. My catheter started coming loose in the evening. I could feel the tubes starting to come down into my cervix. Not cool.

Belly button incision Day 1:

Day 2 post-op: Thanksgiving day! I didn’t feel quite as bad or take very much Vicodin at all. It still felt like I was having AF – with light-medium bleeding. I made the mistake of taking my antibiotic in the morning on an empty stomach and vomited & dry-heaved profusely. 😦 My stomach settled, and luckily we were staying in town to eat dinner with my husband’s family. I was actually able to eat, like really eat, for the first time in a few days! Although, it was not a good idea to fill my belly. I had severe pain that evening, which lasted into the next morning. The worst part of the day though – having tubes hanging out of me while attending a family function!

Day 3 post-op: Doctor’s appt to get the catheter removed! I woke up in severe pain but couldn’t take any Vicodin because I had to drive to Cincinnati. It only took a few seconds to take out the catheter. I still felt crampy, and I began to bleed a little heavier. My doctor said I should start to feel better soon but to keep taking it easy. A few hours later, my cramping and bleeding lessened. I slept a little bit easier for the first time.

Day 4 post-op: Today! Dinner out of town with my family. I have very little pain, and I’m so glad to be rid of that stupid catheter! It’s going to be a long day, but I’m not doing anything strenuous, so hopefully it’ll be alright. I’m only spotting a bit so far today.

Belly button incision Day 4:

(There’s also one on my pubic area, but it’s tiny)

*Disclaimer: I hope this doesn’t scare anyone! I would do it again in a heartbeat. It was TOTALLY worth it. Plus, my problems aren’t typical. I not only had a Lap, but also an HSG, D&C, and had my septum removed. I also had that darn catheter that caused extra pain. I highly recommend considering a Lap if you have never had one.

14

Still in disbelief…and thankful!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m still in shock and disbelief that we may have finally found the reason for our fertility problems and multiple losses. I have been examined and tested by my OB/GYN and 3 Reproductive Endocrinologists over the last few years. We have been through several medicated cycles, 5 IUIs, 2 IVFs, 8 miscarriages, multitudes of testing, and most recently we were told I would never be able to carry a child. Something HUGE had been missed all this time!!! Now we have hope again, and I’m so thankful!

I would highly recommend considering a Laparoscopy if you have not had one. And PLEASE friends – get a 2nd opinion, or 3rd, or 4th! We wondered if something could be wrong with my lady parts, but my HSG was “all clear” 2 years ago. Little did we know, I had Stage II Endometriosis throughout my uterus, scar tissue on my right ovary, and a congenital defect in my uterus – a Septate Uterus. The septum should have been caught by my previous doctor during the HSG. I really had no reason to think I needed a Lap, but my doctor suggested we try it as a last resort – even if it was to rule things out. I never expected to find so many answers as to why we kept miscarrying! Uterine septums are a major factor in early losses. The surgery was a complete success. Everything was removed/repaired, and my doctor has confidence that we will successfully conceive.

I do believe the autoimmune issues that Dr. Sher found have merit. However, if he had known that my HSG was wrong (and that I had Endo & a uterine defect), I don’t think he would have jumped to the conclusion that I cannot carry a child. All the pieces of the puzzle are coming together now. I see Dr. Kwak-Kim in January, which is when we’ll be able to resume TTC, so it will be perfect timing. We have already resolved one huge problem – with my recent surgery, so all that’s left is to tackle the autoimmune aspect (which might actually not be as huge of a contributing factor that we first thought).

I CANNOT WAIT FOR 2012!!!!!!!!!!