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Update: Discrimination

I got my FMLA paperwork sent out to my RE’s office. Once it’s filled out, they will send it back to my employer. I mentioned to my boss that I’m taking at least one cycle off because I’m willing to make sacrifices for my job. My job IS important to me, and maybe I’ve made a bad impression for taking time off. I’ve always had great attendance in previous jobs. I also have a great performance record at my current job, but I guess my attendance is a really important issue for my boss. I can understand that – but at the same time – there are pregnant women (my boss included – yes, she’s pregnant) who are taking off for doctor appts and maternity leave. I feel that I should be allowed the same for my fertility treatments. I will not give up on this. I have rights, too!!

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My Cleanse and Cycle 16 so far…

I spent the past 5 days doing a full body cleanse. I have to say that it went really well! I am proud of myself. I lost 1 lb so far. I decided to end the cleanse, but incorporate some of the aspects of the cleanse diet into my daily diet. I have been walking almost everyday, and I feel good!

We are trying naturally this cycle, as I mentioned in my previous post. I’m on CD 8, and gearing up to ovulate already! My OPK was almost positive yesterday, and I’m having all the fertile cues. We’re just relaxing and having fun with it though. I wasn’t going to use OPKs at first, but it drives me crazy not having confirmation that my body is doing what it’s supposed to – LOL. Other than that, no temping or anything.

It would be amazing if we conceived on a natural cycle after everything we’ve been through. I did conceive naturally (twice) back when we first began TTC. I suppose it’s possible, but I’m not expecting much. I’m not feeling negative about it, but I’m also not feeling hopeful about it (if that makes any sense).

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IUI #4 is a bust, but I have a plan…

I’ve been on fertility drugs for like 6 months straight. It would be nice to take a break. I’m thinking about doing a body cleanse to clear my system and jump start some weight loss. I’d like to work out more, lose about 10 lbs/get toned, and become healthier in general. So that’s what I will start on now. I will still be TTC, but naturally with no temping or OPKs. The less stress the better. I just want to enjoy my husband for once. I would also like to try to do more yoga, acupuncture, and massages. I think I need to heal myself physically and emotionally. Another thing I’m planning is a weekend getaway or something with my husband. We’ve been working hard at our jobs, with school, and TTC! We deserve a treat!

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Things that keep me going

1. My husband. He is my rock and my best friend. He doesn’t always know the right things to say to comfort me, but he would do anything to make me happy. I love him so much. I can’t wait to make him a daddy.

2. My family. Although none of them have ever been faced with infertility – in fact most of them are super fertile, they can sense when something is wrong and always do their best to try to understand. They have been really supportive, and for that I am truly grateful.

3. My friends. My “real life” friends don’t know exactly what I’m going through, but they are still very supportive. Even if it’s a shoulder to cry on or if they just listen and say nothing at all. My friends in the computer (lol) – God bless them. Even though I hate to see them dealing with infertility, it makes this journey a lot less lonely. We draw hope from each other. We lean on each other. I am thankful to have them.

4. My doctor. He tells the truth about the odds we are up against, but at the same time my doctor makes me feel confident that one day I will be a mommy. I am lucky to have someone who is experienced, as well as caring.

5. Hope. Even though I have been trying for over a year, and I’ve been given a devastating diagnosis – I still have hope. Many people begin to lose hope, become bitter, or let themselves become jaded. I try my best to keep hope alive and have faith. I am so grateful that I can still get excited & optimistic.

I have many things in my life to be thankful for. I just need to keep that in mind.