33

I still have lines!

I know blue dyes aren’t always trustworthy, but I got a darker line on one this morning. I hope they aren’t evaps. I also got a really faint line on FRER and my cheapy test. I’m kind of excited, but I know to stay calm until I see something more concrete. I’ve been down this road before.

My work computer won’t let me download pics anymore, so here are all the links on photobucket. I hope you can see the lines. They are still very faint. The blue one is the best out of all. I didn’t think there would be anything, especially with FMU!
 
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17

Could my dream be right? Please be real!

I’m 12dpo and 14 days post-trigger today. I’ve been peeing on things obsessively as usual. Today I felt mopey, thinking I was out. I still had the urge to test this afternoon though. Why? I don’t know, I’m crazy. Usually I just use my cheapies, but they have been pissing me off this cycle. Something was nagging at me to use a different brand.

Also, I had a dream earlier this week that I got a BFP on a blue dye test. If this is real, I will be so shocked!! I’m going to regret posting this later when I get a BFN! Oh well! Please keep your fingers crossed and send me your positive thoughts! 🙂 Thank you!

Here’s my Answer brand…not sure on this one.

14

1 year ago today

I just realized it is exactly 1 year ago today that I got very devastating news from Dr. Sher…..that we would most likely never have a baby. Not with my husband’s sperm. Not likely with my eggs. And definitely not in my uterus. It came as such a shock. I had never felt so low in my life.

Well, look how far I’ve come in a year! We are not where we want to be yet, but we have learned SO much! Finally, after all this time TTC!! I had a Lap (thank you Dr. Scheiber in Cincinnati!), where we discovered so many new issues that were resolvable. I’ve had more testing and even more new diagnoses that are treatable. (I love Dr. Kwak-Kim!)  I’m on a new protocol that is supposed to give us a chance.

So many new things. Lots to be grateful for – both TTC and otherwise. So it really goes to show, there IS hope. Don’t give up. Even though there are no guarantees, there ARE possibilities! I can’t wait to see where I am in another year. 🙂

14

Support for a friend – 2nd Tri loss.

My dear friend needs your prayers and warm thoughts. She’s not a blogger, but I’ve been in touch with her for the past couple of years. She’s been such a beautiful friend, always supporting me and cheering me on – even while she was experiencing loss. I was so overjoyed when she finally got her sticky BFP! Everything was going so well, until…

The 12th week. Each scan and lab thereafter revealed more problems than the last. I cannot even imagine the hell of waiting for every test and facing such heart-breaking news. What kind of strength that would take. She is an amazing woman. So full of courage. Such a big heart.

The doctors were telling her the worst, but she had to do everything she could to find out exactly what she was facing. To fight for her child. The physical abnormalities did not extinguish the love she had (and has) for her long-awaited child.

However, further testing shows that the baby is in fact very ill, with serious heart and lung problems, and will pass away – either in utero or at birth. She received this devastating news as she felt her baby boy move for the first time at 16 weeks. 😦

It’s not my place to talk about people’s choices and personal decisions. I do want to say I support her 1 million % though, no matter what. I have nothing but love and respect for her.

One of the reasons I’m writing this is because there were people who didn’t know the whole story. She does not need criticism, advice from people who have NOT been there, or judgement. All she needs is support and love right now. You or I could never know what it’s like, unless we walked a mile in her shoes. There is no easy choice. It could happen to anyone… 😦

If you’re reading this, my friend – you are greatly loved!! Please pray for her & her family. ❤ If you know of any books, support groups, or other things that may help – please post. Thank you so much.