I’m alive!

I took quite a hiatus from the blogging world! Part of that is not having time, and if I’m being honest, I just haven’t felt like writing or commenting. The longer I was away, the more behind I got on all of your blogs. I plan on checking in to see how everyone is doing! Please say hi if you’re reading this (whether you’re a blogger, follower, or random reader)! Is anyone still reading, lol?

So I guess now that I’m content, I don’t have much to write about? I’m definitely happy, but life still throws lemons at me now and then. When you have a baby and stop fertility treatments, it doesn’t mean you live happily ever after or never have a problem ever again. But my goodness, it is good to be out of the trenches. I will never forget what that was like. My heart still breaks constantly for those couples still fighting the good fight.

But anyway, I guess I had more to blog about when I was in pain and dealing with the drama and ups and downs of infertility. It’s weird writing about being a mom. I’m not particularly witty, funny, or unique. So I don’t want to bore you all. Plus, I know it’s hard to relate to mom blogs when you’re TTC. I also can’t deal with the criticism and judgement that moms inflict on other moms. It’s just been easier for me to stay in my happy cocoon. 🙂

My son, Graham, is 9 months old! He is such a sweet, funny, happy, silly boy! I live for his smiles and giggles. He says “dada”, “baba”, and sometimes “hi” or “hey”. He is fascinated with our 3 cats. I’m pretty sure he knows who they are better than he knows who mommy and daddy are! He’s not crawling yet, but he gets around really good by rolling around the room! Graham is healthy and growing! He’s not such a peanut anymore!

If you’ve read this far, I have some exciting and rather unbelievable news! I am 18 weeks pregnant with a healthy baby boy! He was conceived totally naturally. I have no idea how that happened…I thought that was like a mythical tale you only read about. But it’s really happening to me! I still don’t believe it though. The pregnancy is going extremely well. I still carry around infertility/loss fears, but overall I feel great. I am so grateful to experience this again!! Take that, doctors!

I can’t promise to update often or check in on you guys. I apologize for that. I hope to be around a little bit more. We are probably going to be moving before new baby boy comes along, so that will be a big task! I’m so excited for what the future holds. 🙂

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone! Love to all xoxo

Graham is 4 1/2 months old!

Hello readers! I hope you all are doing well. Thank you for continuing to follow along, even though I haven’t had much time to read/comment/write lately. I am going to catch up with you all soon. Would you mind sharing something in my comments – if anything important, exciting, or sad has happened. Or just something totally random or holiday-related. Whatever you would like! I’d love to hear from you as always! Wishing you all a safe and happy holiday season with miracles!!

Things are going really well! We have a good routine going. Andy and I work together. Everything keeps getting easier. Plus, Graham’s been sleeping through the night for awhile (in his crib)! What a good boy! Graham is laughing/giggling, rolling over, scooting around in his crib and pack n play, and “talking” a lot more – but not quite babbling yet. He is so smart and getting mobile! I’m not ready for such a mobile baby! 🙂

Graham just had his first tiny taste of baby food – sweet potatoes! I know it’s early, but I’ve done my research and spoken to the pediatrician. I’m not up for a debate on the subject. He did a great job eating it! His face was priceless with the first taste. He looked disgusted! Haha!! But then he seemed to love it! I don’t think we’ll be offering much yet, just a few bites here and there. And of course we will wait a week or more before introducing anything new. He’s been taking rice cereal in his bottle for about a month now. It’s good for his reflux and also keeps him fuller and calmer between feedings.

We had a nice Thanksgiving and are now looking forward to Christmas!! This time last year, I was just getting my BFP, betas, and first ultrasounds with Graham! It was an exciting and scary time, but our take home baby was finally brought to us! So much can change in a short time!

My previous cycle was 29 days, and I think I ovulated. This cycle, I have lost track of what cycle day I’m on, but I’m sure I only have about a week or so left. We BD, but I have no idea when or if I O’d. Still just going with the flow, but kinda trying naturally. Not expecting anything to happen. I’m thinking about going for a check up at my old RE’s office sometime around the beginning of the new year. I’m curious and want to get my basic labs checked, and maybe an ultrasound to check for cysts. Then we might re-evaluate trying a little harder. My PMS symptoms and AFs have been HORRIBLE, so that’s another reason I’d like to get some basic testing done.

Graham’s stocking this year!

Graham’s first ornament!

Guest Blog: Dr. Kwak-Kim success story and advocate!

I was contacted by a lovely lady who recently gave birth to a healthy baby girl! I love this letter she has written to her doctor.

Dear Dr. Erickson,

I thankfully gave birth last week to a healthy baby after an all natural and uneventful pregnancy. I am writing you this letter because exactly a year ago, after my second miscarriage, you told me I could not sustain a pregnancy without IVF. You said my chances of sustaining a natural pregnancy are next to none. These were very harsh words from you but they did not prevent me from looking for other doctors. The only reason you gave me for my chemical pregnancies was I had low-quality eggs. You also said I should consider donor eggs because of poor ovarian reserve.

I went to Chicago and had a consultation with Dr Joanne Kwak-Kim, Reproductive Immunologist. She had me do blood work and discovered that my thyroid function was not optimal, I had a positive ANA and my NK Cells count was elevated. She put me on low-dose aspirin. I started seeing an endocrinologist who put me on Levoxyl to improve my thyroid hormone levels.

After two months on the Levoxyl, I became pregnant. Dr Kwak-Kim put me on progesterone supplement, calcium and Vitamin D. Here I am now, nine months later, gratefully holding a healthy baby conceived naturally.

I hope this letter will encourage you to at least order further testing for your patients before having them pay for IVF. I know that is how you make money but your patients deserve a choice and testing to diagnose the real cause of their infertility. IVF is not the only solution and REs should at least explore all the possibilities before throwing it on the table.

I am actively advocating further testing before IVF with all the infertile women I encounter online. I also wanted to make sure I inform you about my situation. I am making this an open letter and sending it to other REs as well.

Respectfully,

K.