12

Feeling better from yesterday and getting pumped!

I posted yesterday about my career stress. I was worried because my 2 best home health care clients are in the hospital, which cut down my hours to almost nothing. I’m happy to say that the office has assigned me some new clients starting next week!

It’s still not as many hours as I need, but it’s a start. I’m so glad they came through for me. They said they would work on getting me some more hours, too. Phew, that is a load off of me! I’m also looking into getting another position with a different home health care agency (basically doing the same work & flexible schedule), just so I have a back up plan and hours when needed. Plus, I still have my 2 days a week at Children’s Hospital, at least for awhile.

Yay! Crisis averted πŸ™‚

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TTC-wise, I started Femara last night! Woot! I’m getting so pumped about this cycle. I didn’t notice any side effects from my first dose, other than feeling warmer perhaps. I get hot flashes on all fertility drugs though, so it’s nothing I can’t handle. I don’t really expect to get any major side effects, at least not for a few days or more. I’ve managed pretty well with other fertility drugs, although it’s not the most fun thing in the world (to say the least). πŸ™‚ But it will be worth it in the end.

Anytime I try something *new*, I start to feel those hopeful/optimistic feelings creep in, which is nice. It feels refreshing. Especially this cycle — we’re pulling out so many new things along with Lovenox. Right now, I have a really good feeling about this working. I don’t want to get my hopes up TOO high, but just high enough is okay. And I suppose if it doesn’t work, we can tweak a few things next time. I just feel like we’re getting closer to our take home baby. I hope that I’m right!

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8

Job stress and losing clients

I’m feeling really disheartened because my favorite home health care client is probably not going to make it 😦 Here is the post where I talk about her: One of God’s Angels. She’s the lady I have spoken about with breast cancer that metastasized to her bones and brain. I was just told yesterday that it doesn’t look like she’ll make it through the end of this week. I feel just awful for her loving husband and family. I know she will be extremely missed by so many people. She’s only 62. It’s not fair. I just hope that she’s not in any pain and can be surrounded by her loved ones right now.

My other client is still in the hospital with increased Dementia. There’s no word on when she’ll be coming back. I guess in this business with the elderly, you never know what may happen and when or why. I was surprised and upset to lose my 2 best clients so quickly though. I hope this doesn’t sound terrible & selfish, but I’m really going to need my hours. I have been picking up random hours with other clients, but I’m starting to stress that they won’t find me a couple regular clients to get my time in.

Of course, I care more about the well-being of my clients than some dumb hours, but I’m starting to freak out a little. I cut down my hours at Children’s Hospital, so that I could do THIS job full time. Now I’m worried. Hopefully this is only temporary. Although, I should probably try to plan for the future, in case my hours are going to be going up and down like this. I probably should have thought of that sooner, but it didn’t really occur to me. DOH!!!

I would go back to working more hours at Childrens, but like I mentioned before, that job was really starting to wear on me. I work with low income families where there is a lot of abuse/neglect/etc…and although I LOVE kids, the longer I go without kiddos of my own, the harder it is to work with other people’s kids. Especially POORLY cared for kids. It breaks my heart!! And even if I wanted to work more hours there, they are already starting to fill the days that I’m not there. I’m down to 2 days a week now.

So, crap. I’m starting my new cycle here feeling stressed and I don’t like it!!! I need to find some relief and relaxation. I hope that it all works out.

25

Cycle 27, CD 1, plan for IUI #6!

CD 1 has arrived! I just spoke with my RE’s nurse. It was a surprising conversation all around.

First, I was kind of surprised because I was expecting to have to go in for a baseline ultrasound, but they said there was no need for one. We went ahead and set up the plans for IUI #6 over the phone. It’s kind of nice because the office is so far away. I never get cysts or anything, and we’ve just been trying naturally, so I doubt there’s any cause for concern about not getting a baseline ultrasound done.

Another surprise is that we’ll be using 5mg Femara CD 3-7 for the first time ever. I’m not sure how I feel about this. I’ve always done so well with Clomid, so I assumed we would be using that. I feel kind of disappointed, but maybe I’m looking at this the wrong way. I’m willing to try something new – I just want it to work. I asked why we were changing meds, and the nurse said sometimes a change is good. She explained they’ve been seeing an increased success rate with their Femara patients.

I’ll also be taking 150 units of Follistim CD 5 through trigger (Ovidrel). In addition, I’ll be taking steroids this entire cycle – Dexamethasone 4mg. The reason behind that is due to my autoimmune/inflammatory symptoms and the fact that my new blood clotting disorder is in the autoimmune category. During the TWW, we’ll also be using Lovenox 40 units for my blood clotting disorder and progesterone as a precaution. I like that we’re pulling out all the tricks.

Overall, I feel good about this plan. Although, I’m nervous about trying Femara because it is totally new and unknown to me and my body. I’ve been known to get lots of follies on Clomid, so I’m scared that I won’t with Femara. However, maybe we’re looking more at QUALITY over quantity here, and I suppose we don’t know that I WON’T produce just as many follies on Femara as Clomid. I do know that Femara treats the uterine lining better, but then again I’ve never had a problem with my lining. I’m nervous, but excited. I hope and pray this is a change that will work.

15

Waiting…and some perspective

I’m now 16dpo and waiting for AF to arrive. I hate when chemical pregnancies and progesterone delay AF. I’ve already dealt with the emotional pain of having another chemical pregnancy, albeit it wasn’t AS bad this time (as say my IVF loss). Now I have to wait for the official bleeding and discomfort that comes with it all. At least it probably won’t be TOO terrible. I’m so ready to start my new cycle and get on with everything though! We are going to kick some ass with IUI #6!!! πŸ™‚

In other news, 2 of my favorite home health care clients are in the hospital. 😦 I wrote of one of them here: One of God’s Angels. She’s a very special lady with breast cancer that metastasized to her bones and brain. I feel so devastated for her loyal husband, who has stood by her and taken care of her so patiently throughout this whole ordeal. She also has a daughter and 2 grandchildren that love her to pieces. I really hope she pulls through, but more importantly, I hope she is being kept comfortable at the moment. I don’t know how much longer she can hold on in this battle, but I hope she feels at peace.

My other client, who I also wrote about here: We’re Everywhere, is dealing with a sudden increase in confusion and dementia. I don’t understand how she could be fine one day and completely disoriented the next. It usually doesn’t progress so quickly. Sometimes if an illness comes on or a life-stressor comes up, I suppose it could be very detrimental. I hope she makes it through okay. She DESPISES being in the hospital, so I pray that she can come home and live in independence soon, where she’s happiest.

Both these ladies’ stories are really inspiring to me. They have faced so much adversity in their lives, including infertility and pregnancy loss. It was so special to me to hear their stories of overcoming infertility. Not to mention their strength in fighting their diseases/disorders now. And they still keep fighting to live another day. When I think of them, it makes me appreciate my life so much more. It really makes what I’m going through now, seem like a walk in the park. I appreciate the perspective and thank God for continuing to remind me that my life is so special and fulfilling.