National Infertility Awareness week is here, and RESOLVE is hosting a challenge to help create awareness about myths surrounding infertility and the ways people build families. Click here to learn more.
MYTH: You’re young, just relax, and it’ll happen eventually…
There are plenty of couples in their 20’s trying to conceive. I can’t tell you how much I have despised hearing the above myth over the years. What people don’t understand is that Susy’s husband may have a low sperm count that requires further action. Or Ann has Endometriosis and has to go under the knife. Or that Nicole cannot ovulate on her own without medication. Or that Mike and Cindy have undergone many years of treatments and have decided to adopt.
In these cases, age does not make a difference and NO amount of relaxing will magically make these couples get pregnant. There are so many couples that require medical intervention – surgery, injections, oral medications, IUI, IVF, etc to reach their goal. Not to mention, some of these couple have already tried for years WITHOUT medical assistance and no miracle has happened for them. They have spent so much time, money, and have endured so much heartache while yearning for their miracle – and the best you can tell them is to relax?
I know, I know, stress is definitely NOT good at all or condusive to trying to conceive. But the fact that we are young, does not give us any extra hope or ressurance or consulation that we will achieve our goal. Especially when there are serious medical/physical/hormonal/emotional obstacles to overcome. If I could take the advice to just go get drunk and have a good time, I would totally be pregnant 100 times by now. I WISH it were that easy!
My personal beef with this myth is that I am 28 years old and getting ready to enter early menopause in my early 30’s. At least that’s the best guess from my doctors. I’m not quite that young anymore – I’ll be 29 this year. I have always gotten comments that I’m young and have plenty of time and to BE PATIENT. The truth is – I don’t have much time left at all. I have been robbed of my childbearing years, and there’s no explanation why and NO CURE. I feel under pressure to conceive, but can you blame me?! I do not have the luxury to be patient and relax. I feel broken and useless at times. I really don’t feel like telling people the my eggs and ovaries are similar to a 40+ year old woman. That’s pretty personal.
I wish people would take these things into consideration before they speak. I know that most people try to come from a good place and offer the best advice/support they can give. People just don’t have enough information though. I am open and honest about my journey with pretty much everyone at this point. Sometimes people are surprisingly awesome – maybe they have been through something similar or know someone who has. Others have NO clue about anything. I can’t really blame them. It just sucks being alone in the real world, struggling everyday with empty arms, wishing people would be more understanding and supportive.
Most people don’t know how many miscarriages I’ve had, how many tears I have shed, how much money and time I have spent on my dream, all the procedures I have undergone – all just for a chance at having a baby. And we don’t know that it will ever happen. We just keep trying and hoping. I hope that if I continue sharing my story, it will help people realize all that goes into this journey and create awareness.
Thanks for reading. And much love and luck to all those trying to overcome their obstacles and reach their goals. I posted this to my facebook page – let’s hope for some good responses 🙂
Please be sure to visit RESOLVE’s Infertility 101 for more information about infertility..