I’m alive!

I took quite a hiatus from the blogging world! Part of that is not having time, and if I’m being honest, I just haven’t felt like writing or commenting. The longer I was away, the more behind I got on all of your blogs. I plan on checking in to see how everyone is doing! Please say hi if you’re reading this (whether you’re a blogger, follower, or random reader)! Is anyone still reading, lol?

So I guess now that I’m content, I don’t have much to write about? I’m definitely happy, but life still throws lemons at me now and then. When you have a baby and stop fertility treatments, it doesn’t mean you live happily ever after or never have a problem ever again. But my goodness, it is good to be out of the trenches. I will never forget what that was like. My heart still breaks constantly for those couples still fighting the good fight.

But anyway, I guess I had more to blog about when I was in pain and dealing with the drama and ups and downs of infertility. It’s weird writing about being a mom. I’m not particularly witty, funny, or unique. So I don’t want to bore you all. Plus, I know it’s hard to relate to mom blogs when you’re TTC. I also can’t deal with the criticism and judgement that moms inflict on other moms. It’s just been easier for me to stay in my happy cocoon. 🙂

My son, Graham, is 9 months old! He is such a sweet, funny, happy, silly boy! I live for his smiles and giggles. He says “dada”, “baba”, and sometimes “hi” or “hey”. He is fascinated with our 3 cats. I’m pretty sure he knows who they are better than he knows who mommy and daddy are! He’s not crawling yet, but he gets around really good by rolling around the room! Graham is healthy and growing! He’s not such a peanut anymore!



If you’ve read this far, I have some exciting and rather unbelievable news! I am 18 weeks pregnant with a healthy baby boy! He was conceived totally naturally. I have no idea how that happened…I thought that was like a mythical tale you only read about. But it’s really happening to me! I still don’t believe it though. The pregnancy is going extremely well. I still carry around infertility/loss fears, but overall I feel great. I am so grateful to experience this again!! Take that, doctors!


I can’t promise to update often or check in on you guys. I apologize for that. I hope to be around a little bit more. We are probably going to be moving before new baby boy comes along, so that will be a big task! I’m so excited for what the future holds. 🙂


Hospital Bag and post-partum care: What I actually used

I thought it might be helpful to do an updated post about my hospital bag and post-partum care items. Click here for the original post.

This was my list:

Hospital Bag:
•Photo ID, insurance card, list of medications, and birth plan (also pediatrician info if you have one) –

  • These items were a must.

•A couple changes of clothes (loose-fitting maternity clothes) –

  • I only needed one outfit for going home. I stayed in my hospital gown because things got messy.

•Underwear –

  • I didn’t use any. The hospital provided mesh underwear to wear with huge pads. I definitely would not have wanted to wear my own right away. I bought depends to wear for the first week or so, with a pad inserted inside. The bleeding was very heavy.

•Bras/nursing bras –

  • I only wore one on my way home. Since I cannot breastfeed due to medical reasons, I had to wear a bra 24-7 for a couple weeks after giving birth, to help keep my milk from coming in. I only had a couple days where my breasts swelled, got sore, and leaked a tiny bit.

•Breast pads –

  • Only needed them for a couple days, since I am not breastfeeding.

•Socks –

  • I didn’t need any. The hospital wanted me to wear their socks that had tread on the bottom, so I wouldn’t slip and fall.

•Flip flops –

  • These were a MUST for me! My feet began swelling massively the day I left the hospital. I had a pair of cheap flip flops that were kinda big and loose on my feet, thank goodness.

•Slippers –

  • Didn’t use any.

•Chapstick –

  • Very important! My lips got soooo dry during labor.

•Nipple cream, if nursing –

  • I didn’t need any. My milk hadn’t come in anyway, so even if I was nursing, I would not have needed it. (If you are breastfeeding, you probably should bring it.)

•My own shampoo, conditioner, body wash, toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, lotion, body spray, hair gel. –

  • I LOVED having my own stuff when I took a shower!!

•Hair ties and/or headbands –

  • Definitely needed those!

•A couple snacks –

  • Hubby needed them, since it was such a long labor. Glad we brought some.

•Hard candies for me to suck on (some people bring suckers or popsicles) –

  • I actually didn’t use any. The hospital had popsicles, and I mostly sucked on ice chips.

•Change for vending machines –

  • Hubby used it all.

•Extra batteries for the camera –

  • We didn’t end up needing any extra ones. We took some photos on our camera, but used our phones a lot.

•When ready, we will grab the camera and my phone and charger (Andy’s phone and charger, too). –

  • Definitely needed those!

•Our laptop isn’t working, or we would bring that as well. –

  • N/A (Would have been nice to have, but my phone worked fine.)

•Pillow for me and boppy nursing pillow –

  • I didn’t bring any pillows. I kind of wish I had. The hospital pillows SUCK so bad!! Although, my pillows would have gotten messy, most likely. I could have maybe gotten some cheap pillow cases and waterproof covers or something.

In a smaller duffel bag:
•A couple outfits for Graham –

  • We only used one outfit for going home, but we probably could have used more if we wanted. We were glad we had different sizes, since he was a lot smaller than we thought he would be.

(Hospital will provide all items needed for baby’s care while you’re there).
•Extra space to take as many hospital goodies as we can (LOL, everyone does it). –

  • We took everything we could! The nurse told us to.

Items on hand to take care of my post-pregnancy body:
•Depends –

  • These were great to have.

•Super heavy, long pads –

  • I am STILL using a ton of these! I should have bought like 10 packs of them!
    (Hospital will provide mesh underwear and other personal care items while you’re there).

•I’m hoping to get a peri-bottle at the hospital to take home. –

  • They gave me one. It’s important to use every time you go to the bathroom.

•Extra underwear –

  • Since I used Depends during the heaviest days, I haven’t had to throw any out now that I’m wearing them. Larger underwear is a must. They don’t have to be granny-panties necessarily. I have hipsters, which are roomier.

•Bras/nursing bras –

  • I was glad I had a couple bras that were a little loose on me, because my boobs got bigger when my milk was trying to come in. Now, they are about the same size they were during pregnancy. They might be getting a little smaller.

•Breast pads –

  • Barely used. You will need plenty if you are breastfeeding.

•Nipple cream –

  • Didn’t use. You will need it if you’re breastfeeding.

•Tucks Pads or Preparation H Wipes (look for witch hazel as the ingredient) –

  • Oh yes, you will definitely want these!!

•Colace (stool softener) –

  • Very important! I have hemorrhoids from giving birth, and it hurts to go # 2! I still take Colace everyday.

•Ibuprofen (pain reliever) –

  • I definitely had to take some all day long, everyday. I still need it. I also had Vicodin, but still needed Ibuprofen.

•I found this awesome recipe on Pinterest to make your own “padsicles”, which are pads soaked in witch hazel and then frozen. They’re supposed to feel pretty amazing on your lady parts after giving birth. *Click Here*

  • I didn’t end up making these. I should have though. The hospital had some iced pads, which felt nice. I took a few home with me.


My contractions were coming pretty regularly and strong yesterday, but I was getting lulls sometimes. They started me on Pitocin last night at 10pm. It didn’t bother me at all for awhile. The contractions felt like period cramps.

I had a cervix check at 11:15pm. 2-3 cm, very thin, and baby’s head right there. I thought by this morning there would be more progress, but no. 😦 I’m trying not to get discouraged.

The pain level has shot up big time in the past couple hours. I started crying around 6 am because it was so intense. Feels like cramps on top of cramps that could rip my body apart. So much pressure and they last long. The nurse gave me an IV pain med but no epidural until I dilate more. The pain med helped a little, but I’m still having a really tough time.

I hope I can do this. I gotta be strong.