Change

Change is good, but change isn’t easy. I wish I had the answers to live a stress-free life while TTC, but I don’t think that’s entirely possible. There are ways to take some of the focus off it though. Here are some of my new and old things I’ll be focusing on: reading, writing, exercising/yoga, taking bubble baths, aromatherapy, guided relaxation, volunteer work, spending time with hubby and friends, and diet/weight loss. Hopefully I know I can really put these things to use for me!

Andy and I were talking about book ideas actually, for infertility. Between my experiences and things I’ve read, including other people’s stories, I have a lot to write about. Of course, if I included pieces of someone else’s story, I would change specific events and names. I’d like to start working on that. I’ve also been writing more poetry and reading just about everything I can get my hands on.

My exercise, diet, and relaxation activities have helped immensely! I still need to make sure I employ all of my coping skills when I need them most (like during the TWW or when I get the urge to POAS!). I know they are there, but sometimes I don’t take full advantage. I’m going to post a list in a couple visible areas of my house to remind myself. The volunteer work I’ve been doing has really helped put things in perspective. I highly recommend offering your help to people in need. It’s a win-win situation.

I’m so excited that some of my hard work has paid off already! A couple posts back, I mentioned that I lost 15.5 pounds in about 2.5 months. I feel so much more confident, and my self esteem has been boosted. Fertility drugs and “stress-eating” really took a toll on my self-image. 2011 marked my heaviest weight ever…which is unusual for me. I’ve always kind of went up and down, but not so drastically UP. I feel great right now though, and I’m still making improvements!

So, to reward myself, I got my hair done yesterday 🙂 I got it trimmed and highlighted with caramel blonde and red. A big change for me.

I was pleasantly surprised to see how big my pants were yesterday!! Yay!

“Change” by Blind Melon:

“I don’t feel the suns comin’ out today
its staying in, its gonna find another way.
As I sit here in this misery, I don’t
think I’ll ever see the sun from here.

And oh as I fade away,
they’ll all look at me and say, and they’ll say,
Hey look at him! I’ll never live that way.
But that’s okay
they’re just afraid to change.

When you feel your life ain’t worth living
you’ve got to stand up and
take a look around you then a look way up to the sky.
And when your deepest thoughts are broken,
keep on dreaming boy, cause when you stop dreamin’ it’s time to die.

And as we all play parts of tomorrow,
some ways will work and other ways we’ll play.
But I know we all can’t stay here forever,
so I want to write my words on the face of today.
and then they’ll paint it

And oh as I fade away,
they’ll all look at me and they’ll say,
Hey look at him and where he is these days.
When life is hard, you have to change.”