Andy’s big 3-0 birthday was last Saturday. I wasn’t sure what kind of shenanigans we were going to get into that evening, so I gave him an early afternoon birthday BD [sexy time]. It wasn’t exciting, but he definitely seemed very pleased as always. I don’t get freaky in the daytime. I don’t get freaky…much. We still have fun though. At least I thought so. 😦
We had a fun night….but Sunday morning he woke up pouting around. He got all pissy and said our sex life hasn’t been good for awhile. 😦 He blamed it all on me! That really hurt my feelings. I try, I really do. Before we were TTC, we did NOT have sex very often. We do it A LOT now! Granted, it isn’t the greatest because it’s not usually spontaneous…and it can be somewhat mechanical at times. I’m not always in the mood, but I still do it anyway. Sometimes I change it up, do different positions, or do “other things” for him. We have toys. I’ve watched porn with him before, but it’s been awhile. Sheesh! He gets off everytime, and I do not everytime!! At least he’s gettin’ some!
I know it’s important to have good sex, and to please your partner. But come on. I work full-time, I’ve got infertility beating me down, I’ve had a bunch of losses (it hits me harder than him, he even says so), I take tons of medications that often make me crazy. I’ve been trying to focus on myself a little more lately, and make sure I’m healthier and happier. I recently started a whole new lifestyle/diet. Plus, I do a lot for him. So excuuuuse me if I can’t also be a dynamo in the sack all the time!!
I know I sound bitter about it, but I was shocked at how mean he was acting! We never fight. I can’t believe he couldn’t just come to me and say “hey, let’s try this tonight” or try to be nice about it and come up with actual ideas. I would do anything for him! I’m the one who initiates all sex anyway. I think he was mad because I got a little tipsy, and he wanted “wild drunk Lisa sex”. I didn’t feel like it. 😦
So anyway, he’s been in Michigan, helping a friend, since Monday. He returns Thursday. I thought about buying some whips and chains and kinky stuff – just to freak him out, because we don’t do stuff like that. I should go all crazy dominatrix on his ass, and see how he likes that. 😛 The fact that he couldn’t be respectful of my feelings, does NOT make me want to have sex with him. Act like a complete jerk – that turns me on so much! Said no one (in a normal relationship) ever.
Have you guys run into this? I feel sad about it, really. I know I joked about it, but I want to be the best wife I can be. I don’t want to be boring, or have our “love-making” be crappy. 😦 I love my husband very much. Stupid effing infertility.