Still bleeding, but beta positive

Sorry I haven’t updated. My home computer is all torn apart while Andy repairs it. It will *hopefully* be done today when I get home from work.

I got a beta yesterday @ 13dpo. It was only 8. It’s positive…and it has to start somewhere…but the doctor said it doesn’t look good with the bleeding I’m having (obviously low beta + bleeding = not a good sign). We’ll re-check tomorrow (Saturday). While I’m fighting for this possible pregnancy, I don’t actually believe it will work out. A part of me feels hopeful, but I am fully prepared for my usual bad news. Back and forth between positive and negative. Trying to stay balanced in the middle somewhere.

It is really frustrating and embarrassing though. Me and my pitiful lines and low hcg. It feels like I’m constantly putting all my personal failures on display. It makes me not want to document any of this. I’m just so sick of being broken. I’m grateful that you all stay so hopeful for me. You know I try to be as optimistic as possible, but sometimes I feel naive/stupid for believing it will work.

So, I’m still taking all my meds…Waiting to see what will happen next. Gotta just keep hoping it will be different one day.

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18 thoughts on “Still bleeding, but beta positive

  1. Oh love, you know I have everything crossed for you. Try your very best to stay somewhere in the middle.

    And I completely understand the whole feeling stupid for being hopeful thing – you know I do. But people read you because they’re in the same boat and it’s *incredibly* comforting to know such a good person like you is in the same boat.

    You’re just going to be one of those people that when they get pregnant, stay pregnant (and I still think it can be this time!) gives more people hope than the average bear.

    Thinking/praying/hoping. PM me if you want to chat.

  2. Oh sweetie, I’m thinking about you as you await Saturday’s results. PLEASE don’t feel embarrassed about going through this. We all love and support you, and this is not your fault! Sending you love…

  3. Please don’t feel embarassed. We post about these things because we need support. Please know I support you and pray for you often.

  4. Oh my…my heart is with you. I am so sorry for the way things are going. I am praying and thinking of you. Also, I am sooo thankful that you have opened up your life to us all. Please don’t be embarrassed. We are journeying together….through the ups and downs and somehow we will get through this. I am holding on to hope for you! I am sooo glad to have found you on here. You are a HUGE encouragement to me and so many others. Sending you hugs tonight.

  5. Dont be embarrassed and dont feel bad for not feeling positive and happy all the time. You have been through so much and sometimes you just have to let yourself have those bad days. Im sending you lots of positive thoughts and prayers. ❤

  6. Thinking of you. I know what you mean about getting tired of feeling broken. Sending lots of hugs and hoping your betas go up and the bleeding stops!

  7. Lisa, you are a great inspiration. I’m sorry about what has transpired on two week. I feel your pain and hope/pray Saturday brings you a great surprise. My friend bleed for 6 out of 9 months on all 3 pregnancies. Now 16, 15, 10. Hugs to you.

  8. Lisa, I’m sorry there is some cattiness going on- just wanted to let you know you have support (even from this major lurker!). FX for a doubling beta.

    -litmajor

  9. Lisa huni i havent known you all that long BUT u truely are a beautiful woman and an inspiration to us all…i love seeing ur tests and no way to feel embarrassed or stupid girl…most of us are in the same boat and trying to accomplish the same thing…praying for great news today huni..sending u big hugs 🙂 x

  10. We haven’t talked personally but i stalked your blog and posts on tww (i’m such a creeper…lol) and I totally admire your attitude. You’re such a great support system despite what you’re going through on your own. I don’t think I’d be so strong! You’re such a great person, I really hope things balance out and this will be your take home baby. Send lots of positivity your way,

    Celeste

  11. I feel embarrassed sometimes too, and that’s ok. You have to get all this out somewhere 🙂 I’m still crossing everything for you. This will happen! XOXO

  12. *HUGS* I hope the bitchfest on a certain website doesn’t drive you away from it for too long. There are more people than not that love seeing you post and love supporting you through this difficult journey. Don’t let the rotten apples drive you away.
    Don’t feel embarassed at all. Nothing embarassing about being full of hope 🙂

  13. It’s all about perspective. You may feel your lines aren’t cool – but they make me super jealous. 🙂 Having never seen one, I think it is awesome you see them so often – I think of you as quite lucky. Hugs.

  14. Alot of times the person telling you those things is the one ‘talking’ about you. I can promise you she was and she is. Don’t believe everything u hear.

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