I am so grateful

Everything in my life has been falling into place so nicely lately. Things have gotten so much better on so many levels. Not that it was terrible before, but I’m finding myself feeling more in the groove again. Lisa got her groove back?! πŸ™‚

Emotionally, I am in a good place. I welcome a BFP, without feeling terrified of what will happen after that. I am learning to let go of past traumatic experiences. I am more peaceful and less obsessed. Do I still want a baby with all my heart and everything I have – yes! I feel like it will happen though. In due time.

Financially, we are seeing vast improvements! We would be doing even better, if we could pay off a couple more debts and stop doing fertility treatments. Andy graduates in a few short weeks from the radiology program! He went to the best program in our area and did very well. I am so proud of him, and I can’t wait until he gets a fabulous job in a hospital or doctor’s office!

My job is going wonderfully! I’ve been at Children’s Hospital for nearly 3 years. I’ve been at my current department for 6 months, and it’s going so well. My boss is amazing and so easy to work with (makes a huge difference). I love my coworkers, with the exception of one (but you’ll have that). I also love what I do, I don’t feel over-loaded, and the pace is just right. Not to mention, good benefits and pay.

We are both healthier and happier than ever! I have lost 20 lbs, we eat better, we spend a lot of time together. Our relationship is stronger, we laugh a lot, and we’ve been going out more – seeing our friends and what not. It’s easy to withdraw when your friends all have kids. We are making the best of it though!

Just yesterday, I spent the afternoon with one of my besties and her 2 little adorable girls. I didn’t feel sad or wistful at all. I just enjoyed them and had fun. I’ll be seeing my other bestie and her 2 little boys this weekend, and I CAN NOT WAIT! She’s also pregnant with # 3, but I’m thrilled for her.

So what….who’s this…is this me? haha. This is a long time coming and a lot of work with myself and my therapist though. I’ve been focusing on other things, making improvements, trying hard – and viola….I am kind of surprised to be in such a good place. Probably the best place I’ve been in for a long time. I’m happy and grateful πŸ™‚ Might I still have a meltdown now and then? Yes, I am TTC after-all. πŸ™‚


7 thoughts on “I am so grateful

  1. I know that this may sound crazy but how do you know that you still need to be doing those fertility treatments? They were based on what you experienced while you had an unresolved congenital problem. You’ve essentially hit “reset” with the surgery. I am FAR from an expert on this (I’ve never had fertility treatments) but if it would help you prepare financially for your baby-to-be then perhaps you should rethink some of those things? What would 1 cycle without treatment look like for you? Is it a crib and a rocker? I know that you want to follow the advice of your doctors (and with good reason) but for YEARS they were wrong about a basic structural problem and you and Andy suffered for it. What if you just let it all go and put it in God’s hands? Again, I don’t understand all of the specifics but it’s my understanding that your current course of treatment is based on all of the early losses that you suffered that have now been explained.

  2. Oh no, it’s still not all explained, unfortunately 😦 We do have a better chance (supposedly). I still have a very poor egg supply, my body is more like a 40+ woman at the age 0f 29, early menopause is coming, and I have immune issues that I’m trying to battle. But we have cleared up quite a large factor with the surgery! πŸ™‚

  3. It’s about time you had a streak of things falling into place! So happy for you that you’ve reached this place. You’ve worked hard for all the happiness you are benefiting from right now! If only mine and your lap’s meant we could just stop with the meds and all that…very hopeful for you, friend! IT WILL HAPPEN!

  4. Man, it is SO nice to see you in such a great place emotionally and physically πŸ˜€ Congrats on those 20lbs lost! WOO!
    You are such an amazing person are you are gonna be such a great momma πŸ˜€

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