What is infertility? Infertility refers to an inability to conceive after having regular unprotected sex. Infertility can also refer to the biological inability of an individual to contribute to conception, or to a female who cannot carry a pregnancy to full term.
I conceive quite often for someone who is infertile. There are people who are jealous of me. There are people who laugh and make fun of the fact that we get pregnant almost every cycle lately. It’s not funny. And you really don’t want to be me or be jealous of me. I bet there are people who can’t stand seeing me get pregnant anymore, after so many times. I’m sorry if I’m offensive, but I can’t help it.
People say, “At least you know you can get pregnant.” But there’s no comfort in that statement anymore. Getting pregnant means nothing if it doesn’t progress.
I can’t imagine going through years of infertility and never seeing a positive pregnancy test. I know it is natural for someone to want to experience that, even if it ends in miscarriage. I also know that many women feel jealous of others who have gotten pregnant, only to miscarry – and that is a totally normal feeling in this struggle we go through. You are NOT a bad person if you feel that way.
I don’t know what it would feel like to be in the shoes of someone who’s never been pregnant/or seen a BFP. But they don’t know what it feels like to be in the shoes of someone who repeatedly experiences loss. It used to be horrible, heart-breaking, devastating, depressing, and nerve-raking. I’m almost numb to it anymore though. Mostly, I just feel like it may never happen – just like you would feel if you’ve never been pregnant…I may never stay pregnant.
I am infertile though…just like you. We are all in this together, no matter the diagnosis. It is not easy for any of us. My heart goes out to all of you, whatever journey you may be on. I hope we all can get there, one way or another.