Ugh, Facebook

I logged onto Facebook this morning to see my whole news feed filled with cute little kids and their proud parents having fun for Halloween. I feel guilty for being jealous. I’m really very happy for all my friends, and it’s nice to see people who love their kids so much. Not everyone appreciates their children as much as most of my friends/family do.

It still stings though. It’s a reminder of what we may never have. I think the holidays will be especially hard this year. We’ve been through more fertility treatments and miscarriages than ever before – and we have nothing to show for it. Not to mention, we just found out in August that I may never be able to carry a child. It’s tough.

I’m sorry if any of my friends are reading this. I don’t want to be a jealous person. I pray for strength and for those ugly feelings to go away. I wouldn’t want anyone to feel that way about me if we ever have children. It’s just another part of the infertility demons we have to deal with.

Probably best to stay away from Facebook sometimes…

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15 thoughts on “Ugh, Facebook

  1. I too at times have to stay away from facebook. And some time blogs too…I think we all struggle with jealousy when we so crave to have children and see what feels like EVERYONE else is achieving our dream…except us. You are not alone! Thinking of you often, I hope you and Andy can find the right journey to parenthood for the two of you soon. You will be a great Mommy, be it biological or adoptive…you will love them the same.

  2. Yep, I’m right there with you. FB is horrible and depressing right now. But it’s so hard to stop looking. It’s just HARD. Hang in there. Hugs!

  3. Man, you never know when it’s gonna hit you! Some days seeing stuff on FB doesn’t phase me and then 2 days later I’m tearing up walking past the baby food aisle in the grocery store! Hang in there! Sending big hugs!

  4. Aw man bummer. I hadn’t even thought of that. That must be as annoying as the first day of school pics are. agang of little tiny kids with backpacks on…..maybe you can strategically avoid some of that exposure when you know its going to be particularly overwhelming. For your own sanity i dont think it’s jealousy…just a bit of self preservation. If it makes you feel any better none of us did squat for halloween. Not a costume, not a treat, not a trick.

  5. As you know, I just wrote a post about this very thing the day before yesterday. It really is tough. I spent Halloween handing out candy to other people’s kids and exclaiming over their cuteness – it tugged big time on my heart strings. It’s so hard to see cute kids everywhere and know that not one of them is yours. I’m with you on this, Lisa. The holidays are rough. I hope you can find a ray of hope to pull you through. The holidays are all about miracles, after all, and I’m still praying for one for you as well as for me. Hugs!

  6. Facebook is a mine field… I found during my toughest times that the best thing to do was take a FB break. One time I lasted a whole week and I think it was my favorite week of my whole IF journey. So don’t feel guilty if you don’t sign on for a while, it might be just what the dr. ordered for your emotional health. Thinking of you and sending loads of hugs your way!

  7. hi I’ve been reading for a while but never commented. All I can say is, I get it. Sometimes I have to go on facebook sabbaticals and really keep myself from checking. It’s frustrating because then I feel out of the loop, but it makes me feel better overall. I’m so sorry…

  8. I 100% agree that you are justified in your feelings. I feel the same way. It’s such a difficult subject. But never feel bad for the way that you feel. Those are your feelings and no one can tell you that you are wrong for feeling a certain way.
    Lots of internet hugs 🙂

  9. Lisa, don’t beat yourself up, I think it’s totally natural to feel this way at times. I know it won’t help, but some people will proobably look at you and Andy and wish they had that strength, Love and closeness in their relationship. I really wish you strength and peace xx

  10. Oh Facebook – somehow it always seems to catch you at the worst times. I think it’s so hard because you want to be happy for your friends, but it’s so difficult when they have the one thing that you want more than anything. I’ve had to take lots of Facebook breaks too – it does seem to help, at least a little.

  11. I’ve gotten a bunch of my family and friends to go over to google+. I just label them in certain circles, like family, friends from work, friends from school, IF friends, etc. Then I can go on and just check certain circles. The past 48 hours has been family and IF only!

  12. I felt the exact same way. The worst part is I teach Pre-K so I got to spend the whole day with them in their adorable little costumes. 😦 Nothing like a holiday to remind you about what you don’t have. It only gets worse in two months. Christmas, YUCK!

  13. It’s OK to be jealous and hurt. It’s definetly a reminder of what you still don’t have girl. During our 5 years I learned to just hide status messages. That way I could pretend I didn’t know about their pregnancies or children until I seen them in person. Even my best friends got hidden – I should have just stayed away like you said because that would have been easier lol. After our IVF was positive I felt so … selfish for finally being pregnant. I felt like I was betraying my IF friends. I knew that they would now have to watch ME post pics and updates. It was an odd feeling lol. I’m praying for you all the time honey! You are a wonderful person and i’m glad to have you as an online friend. : )

  14. Facebook can be such a mix of things… be gentle on yourself. You’ve been through so much and are so brave… your friends will see this and know you don’t mean anything bad by them. Hugs to you xoxo

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