Welp maybe pregnant again

I’m sorry, I broke my rule and tested. I have a positive. I am a little bit pregnant. I wouldn’t have tested, but I was having very vivid dreams and woke up dizzy. I ended up with a faint positive, today followed by a PM definite positive.

I must like to torture myself, because DR.SHER told me I would never get past a chemical pregnancy. I just keep wishing I could prove the doc wrong. I don’t think I have hope, but  I have something.

Lately, I’ve been feeling so sad and lying awake at night. I just keep worrying if we’ll ever get pregnant, find a surrogate, or have a family somehow. I WAS doing well, but now I’m not. I feel awful. I can’t help but think how overwhelming everything is and wonder how we’ll ever get there.

WHY is my life like this?! Can’t we just have a family?! What did we do to deserve this?! I don’t expect my faint positive to amount to anything.


19 thoughts on “Welp maybe pregnant again

  1. Posted on facebook, but I think that it getting darker is a good sign. Even when it is hard, continue to be cautiously hopeful. God knows your sadness and your anxieties. He knows your body, and is capable of healing your little baby if your body starts to attack. I can’t promise this is how He will step in, or any of the things I wish I could. Listen to Waiting Room by Johnny Diaz. I think you will completely understand what he is talking about….sometimes God says no. But I think when ttc we push on and like little kids trying to get their parents to finally say yes. I pray that this little baby will be your yes, hugs!

  2. what a strange spot to be in. I am so sad you can be in this spot. I am wishing that you can prove Dr. Sher very wrong.
    much love to you, my sweet friend.

  3. Lisa, I hope this becomes your take home baby. I can’t imagine having chemical pregnancies, that must be so hard on you.
    Thinking of you and hoping this is it!!!

  4. Hugs, LIsa. I’m so sorry you are going through all of this. You most definitely do NOT deserve this, but I can’t help but think that your experience and all the blows you’ve been thrown is leading you somehow to your family and your take home baby. Lean on us when you are not feeling optimistic and hopeful. We’ll do it for you when it all just seems too much.

  5. I have hope for you! My personal opinion is that if Dr. Sher’s philosophy/theories/methods were the hard and fast rule then wouldn’t most all RE’s subscribe to them? I’m not saying he doesn’t know what he’s talking about in some cases, but there is WAY too much that NO ONE knows in detail regarding the intricate processes of human reproduction for him to claim you will never get past a cp.
    Did you ever read this-
    http://www.google.com/m/search?q=molecular basis of recurrent pregnancy loss&mshr=37&msbs=&mscq=&mscm=&popt=1&pbx=1&aq=0p&oq=mo&aqi=&fkt=10001&fsdt=14379&cqt=12796&rst=12872&htf=&his=&maction=select_suggest&client=ms-android-verizon&csll=&action=&ltoken=1ad6b03c

    Sorry the link is so long, but it should get you to the full text version.
    I had 6 cp’s (in 1.5yrs) and am now 32 weeks from an unmedicated cycle. It can happen.

  6. Miracles DO happen, Lisa! I hope this is yours! Doctors are wrong all the time, they are only human and there are so many unknowns with infertility and miscarriage! I know it’s hard staying positive (I’m struggling with that for myself as well), just try to put one foot in front of the other and take it all moment by moment. Right now you ARE pregnant.

  7. I have been following you on the TwoWeekWait ttc boards… I can’t post on the TTC side, but I can post here… My thoughts and prayers are with you and your little one. Lots of ((((hugs))))!

  8. I’m so sorry you’re going through all of this again. I’m sending all the positive thoughts and prayers that I can your way that the line sticks around. Oh, and of course lots of hugs.

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