I’m sorry, I broke my rule and tested. I have a positive. I am a little bit pregnant. I wouldn’t have tested, but I was having very vivid dreams and woke up dizzy. I ended up with a faint positive, today followed by a PM definite positive.
I must like to torture myself, because DR.SHER told me I would never get past a chemical pregnancy. I just keep wishing I could prove the doc wrong. I don’t think I have hope, but I have something.
Lately, I’ve been feeling so sad and lying awake at night. I just keep worrying if we’ll ever get pregnant, find a surrogate, or have a family somehow. I WAS doing well, but now I’m not. I feel awful. I can’t help but think how overwhelming everything is and wonder how we’ll ever get there.
WHY is my life like this?! Can’t we just have a family?! What did we do to deserve this?! I don’t expect my faint positive to amount to anything.