I am totally stressed, I need to complain

I am so stressed. My sleep has been really poor lately. It’s not even TTC related (well some of it is), but it’s mostly other things. Please excuse me while I vent.

  • Andy got laid off from his job recently (I think I told you guys that his computer operator job got cut because they came up with a program that doesn’t require people to run it – UGH). We are waiting for his unemployment to come through. There was some kind of glitch that caused it to be denied the first time, but he’s appealing and will get approved. We need it NOW! He’s in school studying Radiology, but won’t be done until March.
  • My hours in home health care SUCK at the moment, not to mention how much gas money it’s costing me to get around. I have decided to go back to Childrens Hospital, even though I didn’t really want to. I’m going to work at the hospital, plus keep one of my home health care jobs (I have 2).
  • My car is falling apart on me!! It was fine until I started driving around so much for these home health jobs. I have no A/C, my brakes are completely shot, my exhaust needs repaired, my 2 rear power windows don’t work anymore, and I need 2 new tires – they keep going flat. Andy’s car needs a couple things, too.
  • We are behind on almost every bill except rent, we still owe money on our last IVF cycle, and now we owe A LOT for the testing done by Dr. Sher. I needed to get that done though. I don’t foresee us doing the recommended Lap or any fertility treatments for quite some time. No more debt, please and thank you!
  • My latest paycheck got lost in the mail or something. We are kind of living paycheck to paycheck, so I feel royally screwed. I called my job yesterday to ask about it, and they said they’d have to talk to me today about it. I can’t really wait any amount of time for it! I hope they will come through quickly for me. I am so upset with them. There have been many other problems with that company.
  • I feel fat, and my skin has been breaking out ever since I had the chemical pregnancy last cycle. I just feel crappy. 😦

I could probably go on about several other things, but it’s too much. Sorry to be so whiny/negative. Things have never been so bad before, and I need to bitch about it!! I have some ideas and solutions to fix these problems, but we need more money first. And I feel so overwhelmed with where to start. Good thing we are sorta taking a TTC break now. I feel like we would be unfit parents right now anyway 😦 I’m pretty embarrassed to put this all out there.

If one more thing goes wrong, I feel like I’ll go completely crazy!!!!

P.S. My follow up with Dr. Sher is tomorrow evening (Thursday) FINALLY!


20 thoughts on “I am totally stressed, I need to complain

  1. Lisa you are not the only TTC couple with financial issues. Or cars that need work. Don’t feel embarrassed! Ours are minute compared to IVF debt, but it still feels horrid that instead of saving up money for when the baby comes we have to spend money on tests, treatments, and more tests! Sometimes I feel like we are being irresponsible for trying due to money…but then I remind myself of the money we will not be spending on TTC (pregnancy tests, OPKs, lab work, Dr appointments, medicine, etc). Things will start to work itself out. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers! Take this break from TTC to regroup mentally, emotionally, and financially. Praying for God’s blessings!

  2. oh sweetie, I am so very sorry that all of this is happening too. I am proud of you for putting it out there, I think it will help us know better how to support you now that we understand the other stress in your life.
    I do not pretend to understand exactly, but last year E had a lot of work related issues and coupled with the stress of IF and loss it felt 10x harder to deal with, especially b/c IF is so expensive.
    Hang in there.
    I hope your appt with Dr Sher goes smoothly, I know you waited for this for a long time.

  3. I’m so sorry things are so stressful right now. I wish there was a way to snap my fingers and make (at least) the infertility bills/costs go away. I don’t have a whole lot else to say but know that we’re all thinking about you & Andy. I know you’ll get through this and as cliche as it sounds be stronger for the experience. Hang in there chica.

  4. That sounds very overwhelming. I think it sounds like a good plan to put TTC on hold for now until these stressful things resolve themselves. I hope the financial stuff gets settled, it’s hard to think about anything else when that goes on…Hang in there, I am so sorry.

  5. Oh dear, I get it. Sorry things seem to be falling apart in front of your eyes! It WILL get better. We were just talking yesterday about how I’ve neglected going to the dentist for a long time because we’ve been focusing on baby, baby, baby for so many years! (totally embarrassed and ashamed of that one) It’s a gross feeling, but at the same time, impossible to be able to take care of everything at once.

  6. A few years ago when I was in the midst of my IF battles, I read an article (and I don’t remember what the name of it was now) that said that couples that face IF need advice and support in three areas: medical, emotional, and financial. I looked around and saw that my doc was handling the medical, my support group and friends helped with the emotional, but I was guessing my way through the financial. DH tried to help, but money isn’t our forte; all we knew was that it was dwindling. So we went to a (non-commissioned!!) financial planner to help us figure out what we could afford and work out a plan. DH was particularly concerned that we were mortgaging our retirement for children that we would never have. Our conversations with our financial planner were the best things for me in reducing stress. They were not easy conversations, but they were necessary. At last, someone else was telling me from a different perspective what I could and could not do. She understood the emotional aspect, but was also adamant in the budget she gave us that we take care of ourselves, both now and for the future. As much as I wanted children, I really needed to hear someone say that it was okay for DH and I to put our lives and needs first. Now, she was a bit pricey, but perhaps you could find a couple of books at the library that might point you in the right direction? –E

  7. **HUGS** Bitch, whine, do whatever you have to do!
    That sucks that so many things seem to be taking a turn for the worst! I hope everything will start to turn around for you soon.

  8. You know my grandmother always told me that if you wait till you have enough money to do something, you will never do it. If you make more money, you “need” more things. I know all I really need right now is a baby. And I am sure you are feeling the same way. We are struggling to pull money together for IVF and pay all of our bills. I think in this economy, no one is really well off financially. Sitting down with the hubs and creating a budget really worked for us. We have cut out all the unnecessary things in our life (like weekly pedicures). There is this cool application for the iPhone, and it is also an online tool, called mint.com. The best part is that it’s free. It connects to your bank accounts and lets you budget for everything you need (and want). As always, you will be in my prayers.

  9. Oh, Lisa. I’m sorry that you have this stress on top of everything else. It feels like when it rains it pours sometimes, doesn’t it?

    I have no advice on the financials except have faith that everything will least expect them to and I know that one will happen for you to help you in this challenging financial and emotional time.

    I hope that your call with Dr. Sher goes well tonight and that you get some answers and a good plan in place that works with your current break.

    Sending lots of positive thoughts in your direction.
    *Oh, and don’t apologize for venting and complaining – it’s your blog!!

  10. Hang in there! We were in a very similar place a month ago. Breathe, one step at a time, just break it down. You’ll make it through. Huge hugs!

  11. Girl Im right there with you. I literally had a nervous break down at work today because of all the stress and worrying

  12. Let it all out! Vent away! You have so much going on. Try to take it all one thing/day at a time when you can. I hope things get better soon!

  13. I am being completely serious…. I enjoy reading your blogs.They are emotional, very well written, and intelligent. Have you ever considered putting all this emotion into writing your own book? I bet you could write “MEMOIRS of a TTC PRINCESS ” or about another subject entirely.Give it some thought, just might be the ticket to turning things around πŸ™‚

  14. Thank you so much for all the support and ideas/suggestions! I truly appreciate it. I do feel like things will work out…somehow. Just overwhelming right now. ❀

  15. I totally understand how stressful the whole financial part is. I keep wondering how we will possibly pay for any more treatments…or even have a life at all! Please don’t be embarrassed. Many of us are going through the same thing. I’m hoping that you get your meeting soon and that things work out! πŸ™‚

  16. ugh!!! let it out girl. i’m so sorry all of these things are bothering you so much right now. it all seems to happen at once, right? go on and on, get it out, and then try the following: every morning when you wake up, think of 3 things you are grateful for. and start your day that way. that’s all πŸ™‚ hugs.

  17. I can relate to you 100%. In a nutshell I have the same financial and fertility issues. Now due to medical expenses my payroll check is being garnished 20%. That is a HUGE blow to me, bills are barely met. It’s just a very difficult time for most people now, then to throw IF into the mix.. it’s just cruel. The funny thing is, if I were to become pregnant or have a child, I would be in a happier place…most people would probably disagree and think that it would add to the stress, but NOT me. πŸ™‚

  18. P.S.

    You’re bitching and complaining helps alot of people…. it just makes relating to you more real. We’re all in this together sister! πŸ™‚

  19. Pingback: So much has changed « The Pursuit of Pregnancy

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