14dpo update and possible decisions

Thanks everyone for the positive thoughts, prayers, and well wishes. Today’s tests look BFN @ 14dpo. I’m not sure if I just had a lingering trigger shot, some bad tests (or maybe really sensitive tests that were picking up the tail end of the trigger), or another chemical.

I don’t think there will be anymore pee sticks in my future. Betas will be the way to go. It’s really hard though. They are addicting because I’ve seen those 2 lines, and I’m always chasing them. It’s all like a drug – the pee sticks/TTC/etc. If there was an infertility rehab, I would probably belong there.

I don’t think I will every “truly” get pregnant. Just faint lines, lingering trigger, and chemicals. There is obviously something wrong with me. Most likely too poor of egg quality. I’ll have to see if Dr. Sher found anything else with my labs (follow up 8.2.11).

I am so discouraged. I think we might need to re-evaluate TTC, possibly quit, and save for donor egg IVF. My body is so useless. We have tried so many things and have had good responses, but nothing works. Like this cycle – 5 follicles. And my IVF cycle where we implanted 3 embryos – 2 of which were really nice. What the hell is wrong with me??!!!!!! I don’t think I can go on like this. I don’t want to make any rash decisions though.

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16 thoughts on “14dpo update and possible decisions

  1. Ask about potential benefits of a lap and endometrial biopsy? After 6 cp's I'm convinced that it helped or at least didn't hurt. I'm so sorry IF sucks so bad 😦

  2. Big hug. I wish I could figure out why this isn't working the way you want it to so that you can have your take home baby. I'm not giving up hope for you and I continue to send positive vibes in your direction…

  3. good luck. i hope you get the answers you need to make these tough decisions. i dont think any of us ever thought we would grow up and our bodies would turn on us. *sigh*

  4. I understand where you are at my dear. Your body is NOT useless, but I do understand how you might feel that way. Whatever you decide to do, we are here for you to support and encourage you. Oh, and PUT DOWN THE PEE STICKS!!! 😉 (I can help you with that too)

  5. I feel like you do. Why wont my stupid body just work and do what it is supposed to do? It just isn't fair. Last night we were in Wal-Mart at 10pm and there were dirty kids walking around without shoes on. But I'm sure they are better parents than we would be,right? I belong in that rehab with you.

  6. I hear you on the body feeling useless. My thoughts and prayers are with you, and I FEEL your pain. I go back and forth on whether or not I should keep TTC because CLEARLY this isn't happening for us…I keep thinking that maybe God is trying to tell me something by having it not happen. But, I truly believe that when it is my time to throw in the towel, I will have a peace about it and know it is the right decision….I think you will feel the same. In the meantime, I will be silently (and not so silently) stalking and cheering you on in whatever you choose!

  7. Lisa, I am so sorry about it being a BFN. It's so odd that you get the faint positives, that must be hard to go through each month. I hope you get some answers from Dr. Sher and can make the right decision for you and hubs at that point.I will be thinking of you.

  8. ugh, I am so sorry. I totally agree, no more pee sticks for you!!! You have been through the ringer with these for sure.I am sorry you are feeling so discouraged. I hope your tests come back soon so that you can get things together for a real plan. I am in a similar spot as you, ready to be done and contemplating DE IVF.thinking of you from NYC….

  9. I'm terribly sorry about what you've been going through. I'm also sorry if I missed you mentioning this but are you satisfied with your RE? You clearly can get pregnant despite this cycle but are there specialists in your area that deal with multiple losses? Given the right specialist and appropriate post-implantation plan your odds may totally flip. I feel for you & pray that if you decide to continue TTC you find a specialist that can help you sustain a healthy pregnancy.

  10. i was going to ask that same that jodi did–though, maybe i missed this in a past post–have you had an endometrial biopsy done that shed any light on this implantation issue? also, POF doesn't automatically also mean poor egg quality from my own DOR understanding, is it possible there is sperm genetic issue that is causing the very early losses instead of an egg issue–only asking b/c of course, donor sperm is a much cheaper process to start out with than donor egg and might rule that aspect out (or, even better, be successful)? i'm sorry if you've already proved it's egg quality vs. sperm quality issues or that you've both hade your genetics tested and i missed that. hoping you get some answer from sh.er this week finally!!!

  11. Lisa I'm so sorry, I don't know what to say. All I can do is send you hugs and tell you not to make a rash decision. Wait until you talk to Dr. Sher. You never know what answers he might have for you…then go from there. Take it one step at a time, one day at a time.

  12. Oh lisa I just hate that you are at this point. I understand the feelings you are having though, cause I am there too. It would be so much easier if we didnt want this so bad. ((hugs))

  13. I hope Dr Sher has answers tomorrow. I know how it feels to come to a crossroads. Dont make a rash decision, you WILL know when its time to move on or try another way to be a mommy. Big hugs!! ❤ ya!!

  14. I'm so very sorry you're feeling this way. Definitely don't make any rash decisions! Thinking of you, and I hope Dr. Sher can provide you with some good guidance. Hugs!

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