Life is good. Well, really it’s NOT in a lot of respects. The stressors on my mind will always be prominent. Infertility, loss, disappointment, financial stress. How can you NOT spend a lot of time thinking about those things.
Lately, I’ve been thinking of pretty much nothing – other than those stressors. This is totally not like me and not healthy for me. I’m usually an optimistic person who believes everything will work out one way or another. I really hope I’m not losing that. I always said I would never be one of those bitter, jaded people.
Right now, I’m going to focus on why life is good. Despite all the things I posted above, we DO have a great life. We have food, shelter, and all the things we need to get by. We have steady income, our health (with the exception of my reproductive organs), all of our physical and mental faculties, freedom, support, and love. More importantly, we have each other. And I mean that last sentiment, not only towards my husband, but to all of you. We are not alone.
I should practice gratitude more often. It tends to get pushed aside by more pressing issues. I want to make gratitude a priority. I see things everyday in my job (medical field) – things that should make me feel grateful for what I have. I’ve been feeling sorry for myself lately though. The truth is, there are so many people in way worse positions than I can even imagine – TTC/IF or otherwise.
I work with elderly folks who are embarrassed that they can no longer toilet themselves or do the smallest things they used to be able to do. One of my home health care clients cries and curses herself for being useless. 😦 It breaks my heart. I don’t know how they keep going everyday. I see homeless people out on the street corners, who don’t even have the basic needs to survive. But they do somehow. I see people who’ve been through 5 IVFs, 10 miscarriages, etc – but they keep working towards their goals.
….I can do it, too….