I’m not sure what has come over me. I was feeling pretty hopeful and excited this cycle, mostly because we’re trying Lovenox for the first time. Although, the past couple days my hopes are going down. I really have no reason to feel gloomy, except for the fact that we’ve tried many things that should have worked and did not. I’m tired of believing in a miracle medication or treatment or hoping that it’ll happen out of the blue with no intervention. 😦
I guess any cycle could be “the one”, but after all this time it makes me feel like it’s just never going to happen. Or that we’ll get pregnant again only to miscarry AGAIN. I’m so anxious to see a BFP, but so scared at the same time. I don’t know what more we can do to make it happen. I hate having zero control and having the best possible scenarios still turn out BFN or in miscarriage. It’s wearing on me.
Well, it’s still very early. I’m only 7dpo or 9dpo. Too early to be discouraged. I’m just thinking about our 2 year (Active) TTC Anniversary coming up, and I can’t imagine how much longer we will be on this road. How much more money will be spent, babies lost, or how much heartache we can bear. My soul is tired and weary. But I still can’t stop hoping that it will happen someday/somehow.
Sorry for the downer post! I’m sure I’ll find my 2nd wind and keep on going.