I still haven’t opened it…my packet of paperwork from our local foster parenting agency. At first, I was just telling myself that I was busy and didn’t have time to work on it. Now, I am feeling a little bit afraid.
First of all, I feel like if we move forward with foster parenting, we are giving up on TTC. I’m not ready to do that. I know we don’t HAVE to give up. Sometimes I DO want to give up though. Maybe I’m not in the right mind set to go through with foster parenting yet.
I also feel a bit overwhelmed by it all. It’s a lot of work, time, and energy. I know it would be rewarding, but maybe we aren’t in the best place for it right now. I’m working a lot, still pursuing fertility treatments, etc. It probably wouldn’t be fair for me to commit yet.
I have concerns about taking in a child that is unknown to me & we’re unknown to them. What if they can’t stand us or being away from home? What if we can’t make them happy. What if we love them to pieces, and they get placed back at home?! How do you handle that?
Will it be rewarding and fulfilling, or will it be more heartache? It would be amazing to be able to provide a nice environment for children who need it. I feel selfish though, because I want a child to keep. I wouldn’t want to send them home…although, I know it’s best for them to be with their family, right?! I guess it depends.
It is something I really want to do…someday. But perhaps I will wait awhile. I still have hope that we can have a baby to keep somehow/someway. I just don’t know when or how or why or when to give up on that dream or keep pursuing it or what avenue to take!
Everything has felt so confusing since my failed IVF/loss. I hate this. I’m usually so certain, I’m a planner, I know what I want. But I don’t know anything now. I am trying to stay positive and hope that my new dx of the blood clotting disorder will be the answer, but it might not be. We have to look at other options. It’s a hard spot to be in.
Any insights on foster parenting or choosing other options? I know it’s hard to give advice on these things, because it’s such an individual choice. Don’t mind me while I ramble on and sort through this 🙂