We’re everywhere!

I used to think that pregnant women, babies, and fertiles were everywhere. Well, I still think that. You know it’s a conspiracy against all infertiles *wink*

I’m finding more of US in random places though!

In my last post (One of God’s Angels), I spoke about my new hospice client that struggled with loss and infertility. Well, surprisingly enough, my other client is a fellow infertile as well!

My other client, Ms. D, has Parkinsons and Macular Degeneration (she’s going blind). 😦 I really admire her ability to remain so independent though. She gets around pretty well. Her attitude is feisty and spunky, which I love.

Just like my other client, we were having a random conversation, when Ms. D brought up her struggle to conceive. Do we have gay-dar — but for infertility? Infer-dar? I wonder why both clients chose to share these personal things with me when they barely know me? It seems like quite a coincidence. Or maybe another message from God? Or maybe I’m simply a good listener. I don’t know.

Anyway, she relayed to me that it took her TEN long, heart-breaking years to conceive her first child and 2 years to conceive her 2nd child. She was unable to conceive anymore children. And she still says with longing in her eyes, that she would have loved to have more children.

I decided I would share with her that we’ve been trying for a couple years, but I didn’t want to spill my whole story. I’m supposed to remain professional. Her advice to me was to never give up, see a specialist, and TRY to relax. I had to laugh inside about the “relax” comment, because that’s not something I would picture a fellow infertile saying. I bet that’s what everyone told her to do back then though. I can’t even imagine being infertile back then. She’s in her 70’s! I wonder what they could even do for infertiles at that point in time?

This new job has been a real eye-opener for me in so many ways. Not only do I appreciate my life & what I have more, but I have met women who have survived infertility & are surviving much worse conditions now. I really needed this in my life right now, so I’m very grateful.

I’m still struggling with a lot of raw emotions. The miscarriage was only 2 weeks ago. Sometimes I feel like I’m just slapping a band-aid on a huge gaping wound and expecting it to heal overnight. It doesn’t work that way though. It’ll take time, TLC, and a lot of prayers to make it through this trying time. I wish I could just go back to normal, but I can’t. I’m trying to make it one day at a time.

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14 thoughts on “We’re everywhere!

  1. So glad to hear from you, Lisa. It's amazing how many people are struggling with IF and we can all draw so much comfort from each other. I think although we would never want people to be in this boat, it IS nice to have some company. I agree. God is putting these people in your life. Get what you can out of it!! Still thinking of you and praying for you to have peace and be comforted during this especially trying time!

  2. Sometimes I surprised at the number of people who say they went through this–maybe it is really way more common than we think. Such a nice story though. And I can't imagine what you did decades ago when you were infertile!

  3. I know what you mean. Before I even TTC, I NEVER came across infertile people. Just after my failed ivf, i had a conversation with a 35 yr. old at work and i asked if she had any children. She had such pain in her eyes and said, no, not with my busy schedule. I felt myself giving her a look that says, i understand. For some reason i knew she was struggling with infertility, and i felt like CRAP bringing it up to her. I just thought i was the only one going through this…stupid me.. Turns out a year later, she confided to me she had gone through multiple ivf's and she was finally pregnant. she's due in March! Well, i never told her about my struggles, but i felt like she knew i she could trust me and understood. And, just a few months ago, this older man at work congratulated me on my pregnancy and said i was very lucky b/c he and his wife could never have children. I was shocked b/c he talks about his kids all the time. Turns out they are adopted! There are more going through the struggle than we know! – desperategrl

  4. wow, what amazing stories. I do think there is some kind of radar, I can usually spot a fellow infertile (but typically only one who is currently or recently in the trenches). It is something about the subtle things that are said. It is amazing and kind of comforting that this is a journey that you always carry with you. It is always hard for me to picture my life being the same after this.Be easy on your self, life post miscarriage is really hard.'thinking of you….

  5. She *did* tell you to see a specialist too though. Maybe she wasn't suggesting "just" relaxing as a way to fix the problem, but rather as a way to not kill yourself while the problem is being fixed – in which case she'd have a good point.

  6. Taking it one day at a time, sometimes even just one moment at a time is all you can do. ((hugs)) You made me lol @ Infer-dar! It's amazing how many others are out there, and I guess when you think about it, we are at least a little bit lucky to be going through this now instead of 50 years ago. I can't imagine the doctors would have done anything except tell them to keep trying. I hadn't ever really thought of it that way until I read this entry.

  7. You're right my friend – we're everywhere. The more I talk about my own situation, the more I am shocked to find there are those in my life who can relate. Who have been there. And I didn't even know it…

  8. Infer-dar. Hilarious :DThat is pretty strange that both of the women you're taking care of decided to share that with you.It does seem like IF is more widespread that we all think. It's just something so personal though, we just don't share it with anyone so it makes it seem like we're few and far between.

  9. Lisa, this is Michelle from the tww boards. I just want to tell you that in my opinion, there are no such things as coincidences.God has put these very special people in your life for a special reason. Now dont read into it too much as the reason for it, it simply God demonstrating through his people how much he loves you and he deeply loves you. YOu hang in there girl. Take as much time as you need to grieve, and just know that GOD loves you so much. As much as you would love your own child, he loves you even more, he desires to give you the deepest desires of your heart. Trust in him. BIG HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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